Help people find their own reasons to change — with OARS
⚠ DRAFT — state certification varies; supplements an approved program
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K
Coach Katie
Motivational Interviewing (MI) isn't a trick to get people to do what you want. It's a respectful, collaborative way of talking that helps people find their own reasons to change. Your job isn't to push — it's to draw out what's already there.
What MI is
Their reasons, not yours
MI is a respectful, collaborative way of talking that helps people find their own motivation to change. It is not persuading, lecturing, or scaring someone into it. People are far more likely to act on reasons they voice themselves than on reasons handed to them.
The idea: change that lasts comes from within. You create the safe, curious conversation where the person can hear their own reasons out loud.
The MI spirit · PACE
How you show up
Before any technique, MI is a mindset. Remember it as PACE:
P — Partnership
Work with the person, not on them. You're two experts side by side — they on their life, you on options.
A — Acceptance
Respect their autonomy and worth. It's their right to decide.
C — Compassion
Act in their best interest — not your agenda or the clock.
E — Evocation
Draw out their reasons and strengths — don't install yours.
Watch for this
The righting reflex
When someone names a problem, most of us feel an urge to jump in and fix it — to argue, warn, or set them straight. That's the righting reflex, and it usually backfires: people push back and defend the very thing you want them to change.
Resist it. When you feel that urge to correct or convince, pause and get curious instead. Explore. The person talks themselves toward change far more effectively than you can talk them into it.
The core skills
Listen with OARS
OARS are the four everyday moves of an MI conversation:
O — Open questions
Invite more than yes/no: "What matters to you about this?"
A — Affirmations
Notice a real, genuine strength: "You've kept showing up even when it's hard."
R — Reflective listening
Say back what you heard so they feel understood: "So it's the one thing that helps you unwind."
S — Summaries
Pull the pieces together and confirm the next step: "Here's what I'm hearing… what feels like a good first step?"
Listen for the signal
Change talk vs. sustain talk
Change talk is the person's own language of wanting, being able to, or having reasons to change ("I'd have more energy if I cut back…"). When you hear it, gently reinforce it — reflect it, ask them to say more.
Sustain talk is their language for staying the same ("But it's the one thing I enjoy"). Don't argue with it — that just deepens it. Reflect it and support autonomy.
Autonomy: the choice is always theirs. Saying it out loud — "It's your choice, and I'm here either way" — lowers defenses and, surprisingly often, opens the door to change.
K
Coach Katie
Two real moments. Skip the righting reflex — pick the response that reflects, affirms, and explores. The right choice moves you forward.
K
Coach Katie
Five quick questions. 75% to pass. Read each rationale — that's where the learning sticks.
K
Coach Katie
MI is a habit you build one conversation at a time. Pick at least two pledges you'll actually try this week — then claim your badge.
Make it real
Your MI pledge
Tick the promises you'll keep this week. You need at least two.
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