0:04 Welcome to Advance the Dream, our weekly community chat, where we celebrate legacy makers and family heroes who are actively advancing the dream in the spirit of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. We talk about health, challenges, highlights and heroes in an intergenerational fashion in hopes that his legacy of hope and equality continue to live on. This weekly series, powered by the Force for Health Network, is aired live on Facebook, YouTube, and linked in at 8 a.m. Pacific Time, 11 a.m. Eastern Standard Time.
0:34 Then shared afterwards at AdvanceTheDream.com. Now, let's meet our hosts, Force for Health Network co-founders, Dr. Robert Giglio and Lucy Howell, alongside our National Director, Joshua Williams Jr. as we dive into this week's topic. Hello, everybody. Welcome to Advance the Dream, our weekly interactive community chat. My name is Lucy Howell. It is Saturday, June 22nd. I am joined by my partner in crime having a little bit of tech issue there, Josh. I don't know what's going on with your camera today.
1:11 We'll see if we can like maybe fine tune that in a little bit. But, yes, so we are here. We are part empowered by the Force for Health Network. I am one of the co-founders and CEO. And we partner with subject matter experts around the country. And one of our community channels that we've really been piloting and getting up off the ground is with our partner, Joshua Williams. He's been so involved with and dedicated as an alpha leader. Kappa Alpha from Louisiana, former state director of the Louisiana Alphas and very, very involved in even going back when you were 18, 19 years old, being mentored in as the elders or the seniors of the Alphas did what it took to honor Dr. Martin Luther King, get the monument laid down and, you know, continue to want to transfer that knowledge, right, from what happened in the 60s, so that our youth today understand that the fight is not over.
2:20 We're all striving for equality of opportunity and when it comes to health and wealth. So those are kind of sort of my opening statements. This is an interactive community chat. So if you are watching us on Facebook or YouTube or LinkedIn, feel free to jump in the comments. And if they are worthy, we will bring them on to the show and perhaps react to them real time. Today, since it is June, Men's Health Month, we continue to have this focus lean towards men's health. I am married to an African-American male who was actually born on Martin Luther King Day.
3:03 We'll be bringing him onto the stage later, Glenn Howell, as one of our guests. But today we're going to be having a father's roundtable. Last Sunday was Father's Day, and shame on us for not doing it last Saturday, but that's okay because we modify, we shift, and now we get to bring on a couple sets of fathers for the main part of the show that we'll be talking about health issues, barriers, challenges, important messages for the youth, and so we're excited to kind of dive into that today. opening, those are my opening thoughts.
3:43 Josh, I hand it to you. Welcome. How was your week? What do you bring to the table this week? What's on your mind? Well, thank you, Lucy. You probably said that as well as I would have written it. But thank you. First of all, let me say thanks for having the, you and Dr. Rob extending the invitation to support such a cause that I found to be very, very important. And that is, even though we got one day we celebrate first, but we should be celebrating the whole month. And I wanted to thank you all for at least giving us an opportunity to actually celebrate some of those individuals, those men that have actually paved the way and stood the test of time to actually support their families their children um their daily lives and so forth so we're very pleased at the opportunity to have to to to center down to talk to actually share with uh the community some of those great men who have who are actually doing what dr king and all of his
4:56 And his rafting around the country try to do and try to explain. So first, I just wanted to thank you all, you and Dr. Ra for giving us a platform to actually be able to do this, because I think that it's very, very important. Secondly, we come today to actually honor some of those men. We got, Lucy, a laundry list of individuals who are pretty much could be centered and shared through this country. We could probably take five individuals every week and highlight them for what they're doing with their families, for their communities, for themselves.
5:39 But we just wanted to take out a little time and highlight a couple of those individuals who may not have necessarily been really highlighted. But we wanted to share with them, share with the world their process and what they're doing. So we're very pleased to have our guests here today with us to share in this, we think, a momentous opportunity to actually come and share different information and ideas with men all around this country. Well, I think that thanks for that offer. And before we bring our guests on, you bring up a couple of good points.
6:19 I am missing one of my partners in crime here, my co-founder for the network, the Force for Health Network, Dr. Robert Gillio, who is just as impassioned as all of us. It takes white skin, brown skin, dark skin. It takes everybody. to really lean into trying to be more culturally empathetic and to really be healthier citizens, better forces for health so that we are just a little bit more aware and knowledgeable about the barriers or, you know, what do we call we always go back and forth. It's not a barrier.
6:53 It's an obstacle. It's a challenge. You know, whatever you want to call that social determinant of health. social barriers of health, because just we're all dealt with slightly different playing cards when we come into this world, right? Either genetically or environmentally. And so when we understand that different people have different paths to health, then we can be a little bit more empathetic. He, you and I both know, but I put this out to the universe. Please send blessings and energy to him.
7:26 He just had a pretty serious surgery yesterday. He's actually documented it on the Force for Health, if you're curious. Dr. Rob is all about knowledge and sharing and that forth. But he had a surgery yesterday. It came out very good. So, yay. He's got a second surgery on Tuesday. So, yeah. Prayers and blessings to you, Dr. Rob. We will see you soon. In the meantime, we will take care of this. The second point that you made, Josh, is, you know, thanking us for giving the platform to recognize folks, and especially this month.
8:02 But you know what? The reason why we're doing this weekly, okay? It's not a monthly thing. I'm not launching everything weekly, but we are launching Advance the Dream weekly and creating this community and connecting them to platforms so that we really can hopefully wrap around and give tools and structure and mentors and coaching to those who are wanting to lean in. So that's a big part of it's not just... Martin Luther King Day. Let's celebrate. It's not just February African-American History Month.
8:32 Let's celebrate. It's not just June Men's Health Month. Every single day, you should be advancing the dream in one way, shape, or form, or at least that's our challenge to everybody, right? Okay, so cool. Let's go ahead and bring on a couple folks. I'll go ahead and do a couple first introductions, right? We've got, like I said before, my husband, who in his own right is an incredible man. He works as a strength and conditioning coach. He's a U of A football alum. He's a football analyst for the Wildcat Radio 1290.
9:08 More importantly, I've been with this man for 36 years. He was born on Martin Luther King Day, and he is just a giver, a community guy. The amount of money that he's raised for our community with regards to golfing with the Conquistadors, they host the Senior PGA Tour out here. They lead guitar, they raise money for bringing classical guitars into classrooms, and part of the Centurion Group that raises money for hospitals. And so, you know, fully indeed, I'm a citizen, and I have about 30, 40 clients, and I've watched this man for 30 years.
9:47 He really speaks to 85-year-olds or 12-year-olds when it comes to improving performance. So without further ado, I'm going to let Glenn C. Howell bring us to the stage here. And then Glenn, I'm going to go ahead and introduce our other guests here. We've got Octavius Jackson, Octavius R. Jackson, both of you guys. He's a regional disability specialist from Tallahassee. I'm going to let him go into more of what he is about. Josh obviously has been friends with him and has invited him and his son Kendrick to the show.
10:29 And so I'll bring him up to the stage. And before we kind of go into some discussion here, I'm just going to bring up a couple more graphics to set the stage. And Octavius, I hope you don't mind, but when I was on your LinkedIn, I saw this wonderful Father's Day post that you posted and I just pulled it over because I thought when I read it, it's a great foundation, the biggest and most valuable role a man can play. can have as being a father. Commitment, love, sacrifice, dedication to their protector, provider, and unwavering supporter while I ensure that they live, experience, and enjoy what life has to offer to the fullest is your biggest role.
11:12 So I love that. Beautiful, beautiful pictures and family. And then my husband, my husband has always, I should probably not say my husband, Glenn, right? He lives by this motto for everybody. Dream, believe, focus, achieve. Dream, believe, focus, achieve. He played football out here at 83, 85. And of course he does a pre and post game analysis for the U of A football. So still very, very much involved. But guys, welcome to the show. Good to see you. And in Octavius, I believe you're coming in from Tallahassee?
11:51 Quincy. Oh, you're there in Quincy. Okay, got it. Right down the street from Josh, right? Across the street. Across the street. Literally. Tell us now, I kind of went into a little bit of a background of who Glenn is. Tell us a little bit about what you do and why you decided to join us on this show today. Okay. You mean what I do professionally? Okay. Just to set the stage. Okay. So yes, I'm a regional disability specialist for Northwest Florida Health Network. So Northwest Florida Health Network is a contractor provider with the state of Florida.
12:33 And so we oversee supports and services for children that have been brought into the foster care system. So they may remove from the home. We have the challenge of determining whether we're gonna do reunification. terminate parental rights, we're going to do adoption, and then what that care looks like until we decide what is going to be the stabilization period for that child. So my role in that is to oversee what type of supports and services may be needed for that child. So if there's some disability services that may be needed, testing that may need to be done, then I pretty much facilitate testing being done, coordination of services through state services or other disability agencies that can provide some supports and services to provide stability for that child or provide some stability in a reunification process or supports and services for that adopted family that may choose to adopt that child or those children because we try to keep
13:34 All of them together to try to stabilize that home and give that child the best support and services for life. So on the latter end, if they stay with us until they turn 18, they go into a period that we call extended foster care services where we seek and support services for them until they turn age 22. So seeking guardianship, seeking services for them to support their independence. So that's kind of the long and short-term goals of what the agency does and what I do. And how long have you been doing that?
14:04 I've been working in disability services for about 20 some odd years prior to that. I was a regional program manager with the Agency for Persons with Disabilities, which is actually one of the support agencies that I'm now liaison for. So North West Florida Health saw that they had a lot of challenges and barriers. to navigate that. So they actually created a position and recruited me to come over. So now I come over on the other side to provide services and supports for what was a partner agency with the agency that I previously worked for.
14:37 And I was with them for about 19 years. And I've done a couple of other things. I've been a family home therapist, a behavior specialist. I've been a special education instructor. I've been an adjunct professor doing what you call career support or exploratory supports and services for students that are beginning to become college students or their first time college students. So trying to teach them and acclimate them to skills that they will actually need to be successful in college. It sounds like, I mean, my husband has a degree of commonality about what you just said based on what you did Glenn 20, 30 years ago.
15:18 Right. Do you want to speak to that? Yeah. Um, I, I totally understand what you were, were you doing? Cause I, before I became a strength coach, um, I was working with, with youth, uh, in the state of Arizona. Um, I, I created a program, um, uh mentor program at the university of arizona where we prepared eighth grade students in in in the eighth grade to prepare them for college in the eighth grade you know so we did a mentor program where we matched teachers from the university of arizona and uh and got them prepared to get their grade.
15:59 These are kids that started with like, they had all apps or, or, you know, these are kids that were really not doing well at school. And we turned a lot of those kids around working with those. And then I worked with in the, uh, a psych hospital where I was the leader of a psych hospital, uh, working with, with, uh, conduct disorders and doing all that, doing that stuff. And then I went to department of corrections. And I started, I worked with them with the violent crime offenders. And then I also then went from there and I got hired to a school district where I was in charge of the violence prevention unit.
16:39 And I worked with them working as a gang investigator and worked with all the different agencies in the in the area and uh created a gang task force and everything working with kids coming transition from department of corrections into the school system which they had no no prior like uh transition period how to get those kids ready for for school to go back into the system so um I, you know, seeing all the stuff that you're doing, I did something similar, but not the same as you, but it's something similar working with kids.
17:15 I've been working with kids for probably 30, 40 years. And that's what my degree was in sociology and psychology from the University of Arizona. In family studies, the commonality I saw was both of you are working with youth that are within kind of a disrupted family unit, however you want to call that, you know, temporary or permanent. Josh, I see you're back. That's awesome. You know, so much of, you know, Kendrick, I see you kind of like jumping up and down there you know um would you like to share you know how old are you and um perhaps um why you're sitting here next to dad this morning how old are you eight years old Eight years old.
18:05 So that's wow. I thought you were much older, actually. And so eight years old is first grade, second grade? Second grade. Second grade. Kendrick, do you have PE at your school? I'm just curious. Are you studying about physical education or health? He said, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. You know, let's kind of go the three generations here because as we look at this, we're all probably in our 40s, 50s, and 60s, right? Yeah. So one big part and ask and challenge I have is the better we know about our family's history, the more we can know what current issues may be more likely to affect us.
18:59 So I'm just kind of curious going around the room here, what's your confidence level on knowing what your family's history is? And I'm gonna start with my co-host, Josh. Josh, do you feel like you have a good grasp on uncles and fathers and perhaps if any of them have had colon cancer or heart attacks, or do you know what your family history is? Of course, like I say, according to what I've learned by being with you guys and of course the application and stuff of that nature, it increased my knowledge of my family history.
19:38 Like I said, I'm a little different. I actually chaired our family reunions that we have normally every year in honor of my grandmother. So here it's a lot closer niche as it relates to family and what we're doing. Now, have we always kept a good history profile? No, not indeed. You know, in this area sometimes, you know, you look back, they didn't really have a camera to take pictures back then. You know, a lot of that history was lost, but we are trying to recapture now from this point of point to make sure that we have archives of different pictures and relationships and letting them understand who their family is so that if they run into someone in New York and they have a tie back to this area, they would actually know, okay, yeah, that's some kin to mine.
20:39 So you can run into people and you'll never know. One of the, and one of the, as we speak about this, you know, I'm just kind of teasing on some of the programs that we have. And it's really is a, you know, a legacy bookmaker, you know, so choose a senior in your family and let's see if we can do a deep dive into their history and tell their life story. So that, you know, part of that is, you know, who are your siblings and how did they pass? So we can start capturing some of that. I've got a tiny bit of feedback on somebody's mic there.
21:15 I'm not sure whose it is, but okay. Okay. So anyways, so I just bring that up, right? And Glenn, you know, it scares me that your father was younger than you are now when he passed. What do you feel? How do you react to the confidence of knowing what your family history is? Well, I think it's important to understand that the history of your health and your family, because it gives you a kind of a look forward of what could be possibly coming in your health. And how are you preventing those things?
21:57 My father, he passed away at 59 of a stroke and then had a heart attack. My dad smoked all his life. Um, then he quit smoking and then, you know, he didn't, he wasn't a big drinker or anything like that. Um, but he smoked, I think that was a big part of his thing. Um, I can tell you a story when I remember, you know, you always want to be like your dad and, uh, my dad, uh, me and my brother, we wanted to smoke. So he went smoking on the side of the house. My dad caught us and, uh, he made us smoke a cigar and inhale a cigar and And we were throwing up all day.
22:39 And we never smoked again. That was one of the best things my dad ever did for us. He didn't want us to smoke. He knew that that was not good for us. And learning about that. And then on the other side, he had an uncle, my uncle Ellie, who lived to 100 years old. And he was a smoker and a drinker. And so it's something that you look at. what are you doing as far as your exercising? You know, my dad played tennis all the time. He was out there and, and then my mother, my mother lived to 83, eight, no, she lived to 80, 84.
23:22 84 years old. And, um, she had quadruple bypass. Um, she wasn't a very good eater. Um, you know, so she didn't do that. And she smoked for a little while, uh, when she was, uh, younger and you guys look at those factors of what, what are they doing? What are those factors? You know, I don't smoke. I hardly ever drink. So I'm trying to keep, um, You know, those, those factors and look, look at those factors and stay away from the ones that are not good for you and then exercise. And I should exercise more, but I, you know, I'm the strength conditioning coach and I'm always with somebody getting somebody ready, my athletes ready.
24:06 But I need to do a little bit more. I think I need to do a little bit more as I get older. And it's just the little things that you do will help you extend your life. It's almost like giving you a warranty, extended warranty. I think it's important for us, especially as African-Americans, because I got a lot of friends that played football with me. Man, I got some guys that were really young that passed away I mean that you know you're talking about 50 40 they just didn't take care of themselves after they played um you know I had some running backs that look like lyman you know they're you know the guys that go back to reunion and a lot of our guys are passing away and it's really sad it's just if they would just take care of themselves and that's what um Me and my wife are going to start trying to do with our alumni association is working with a health network of just sharing information of getting guys healthy.
25:07 And I think it's really important as we get older. Yeah, one of the new channels that will be premiering here next month is called My Healthy Athlete. So, you know, future, current, and former, you know, athletes of all kinds, especially our linemen, especially our football guys whose bodies have just gotten so much, you know, hit and tackled, but also because they are big guys. And when you look at big African-American guys, the risk factors around that really kind of, you know, amplify when they get into their 40s and 50s, particularly if they're not being proactive.
25:42 Nothing is a equation that it's going to equal such it's just these determinants, you know, in your in your situation. Octavius, how do you how well do you feel like you know, your family history, your father, your brothers, your uncles? I think I know it pretty well. Excuse the background noise. I have roofers and starting a new roof. Oh, no, that's okay. I think I know it pretty well. I will honestly say there's no problem. bad behavior history in any of the men in my family but there there were health their health conditions so my dad passed away at 52 he had you know heart failure and my little brother was probably the age that my son would be when I turned 52. so um he was he was not a smoker he was not a drinker but he was a very intense worker um he worked in uh retail management It was very demanding.
26:47 So he worked a lot of hours. Typically, we didn't see our dad because our dad was working a lot. So mom was pretty much holding down the fort, handling all of the business of everything, taking us to school, homework, shopping, cooking. And my dad, you may see him late at night if he came home. Or, you know, maybe if he had an opportunity to have a vacation. So we didn't get to see our dad a lot. And ultimately, I think his hard working drive had impacts on his health over a period of time. But even with those health impacts, he was a diabetic.
27:36 He had to have an amputation. Even with a prosthetic, he still was working. He would leave one company, worked for several companies. He was a manager at Wendig City and service merchandise. And then he ended up being a regional manager for family dollars. So he was always on the go and working to provide for me and my sister. and ultimately my little brother. So I look at those instances. My mom is still living. Most of my siblings on my dad's side have passed, but for most of them, it was due to cancer.
28:17 I look at those things even now with even being a single parent because my wife passed complications of a seizure a little bit before COVID started. Health is incredibly important for me given that I'm the only parent for them at this point. I would probably say I wasn't the best at health things. Those going to the doctor and stuff was really because my wife had me going to the doctor. I didn't keep up with that kind of stuff. I really kind of was in the footsteps of my dad and I worked a lot. So I was always on the go, always working.
28:54 And so I think it allowed, even with COVID going on, it allowed you to say, okay, we need to look at how to know how to take care of ourselves better. I think I'm an exerciser off and on. Life gets in the way sometimes. I think I was a heavy exerciser and then I ended up, this little one came along and adjusting to having a daughter or having a son totally changes the dynamics of how you function as a family. So then I got away from the gym. And so the Then I get back into the gym and something happens and changing and you have to learn how to get the mindset for that.
29:34 So I probably don't eat as healthy as I should. I will say as being a single dad, I'm not the best cook. So we typically go for what's convenient and I typically eat what they eat, which is not always the best thing because this generation is quite different than what my generation was when it comes to eating and things of that nature. But trying to be conscientious of that. I think I'm very conscious of their health and them going to the doctor and I am better at my health and going to the doctor as well, knowing various things and knowing how to, if you do have a health condition, knowing how to make sure it's being managed to the best of your capability.
30:17 So that's kind of how I look at those parameters when it comes to health and the kids' health and my health. You know, I was going to say, are you guys seeing this right here? The Advance the Dream. Yeah. So this is on advance the dream dot com. And this is part of our site. And there's just a graphic up here that, you know, it is both environmental, but, you know, somewhat environmental. Some people would say that this is still in theory. There's other doctors that will say, are you kidding me?
30:56 This has absolutely been proven out. But we did a program with the Ohio Medicaid because they had the highest infant mortality rates. Infant mortality rates are defined by the rate of babies born to reach their first birthday. and the highest infant mortality rates in the whole country were in Cleveland, Ohio. And this was done with doctors and evidence-based back to patient journey maps because there was a implicit bias that was going on that the mothers and doctors, mothers and fathers of brown skin felt as they went through the Ohio system, whether it's University Hospital, Cleveland Clinic, et cetera.
31:39 So there are some things that will state that there is this toxicity syndrome that will be factors towards these higher disease rates. Now, again, my partner, who is a physician, may have trained, you know, says Lucy, caution when you say that just because there's still some scientific evidence that has to come through and play that. So it is in debate. But the fact of the matter is that African-Americans do have a higher propensity towards these things, which just means that you have to be cognizant, right?
32:19 And you just have to be able to... Now, that's one issue. The other issue that I've heard coming in from experts is African-American men who typically would be head of households for you guys would see doctors later. They're not seeing them as regularly or as consistently as others. So that's why if a colon cancer could be caught in stage one and be taken care of because they're seeing regular doctor visits, but perhaps someone like Glenn's dad who may not have gone to the doctor maybe as often as he should have, they're catching things later, which means that there's less things that they can do to fix things.
33:05 That's the other factor. So it's both kind of care, you know, DNA and environment. You guys have a response to that? Yeah. I think one of the biggest factors I tell you said was the stress factor. That is very, very important. I think that was something that that people got to understand is that, like you said, your dad was always working. That's to say what my dad was an engineer, chief engineer on a cargo ship. He was gone for 90 days and then he'd come back and then he'd get a month off and then he had to go back out to sea.
33:44 My dad was working since he was he was when he was 13 years old. My grandma told me that they took him down to the shipyard. He wanted to go to sea. 13 years old. He was across the world on a cargo ship working on a cargo ship. just to bring money back for his family because they moved from Arkansas to Berkeley. And my dad's been working all since he was 13 years old. He was sending money back to the family. And his stress was just really a lot of stress for him. You know, he was taking the burden of being a provider for the family at, you know, 13.
34:29 He's going, he's in India. He's in, in Japan at 13 on a cargo ship. And they thought he was like 18, you know, but he was really 13. Cause my, my grandma forged his birth certificate and has said that he was 18 years old when they brought him down. He was a wiper working in a, in a, in a kitchen. So my dad, you know, those factors of stress of always working, And then, you know, money issues, all those kinds of things are a lot of factors that we have to be able to calm down. And how are we dealing with that?
35:08 Are we dealing with it like through exercise? Are we dealing with it, you know, different kinds of things? I think that's where we have to really try to manage that stress and how we manage that stress. And are we managing that stress healthy? healthy wise, you know, or we manage that stress by drinking or we manage that stress, you know, all those different things that we have to make sure we have a plan to manage that stress. Well, I think that we got some comments, you know, activating over here.
35:41 So I'm excited to bring in, you know, this is also, you know, an issue that we've talked about. Thomas Hinson, and thank you for saying this, that there is this element of distrust that still lingers. You know, Reggie Jackson was on, you know, the TV the last couple of days because they're having that historic baseball game. And he couldn't even really speak without crying because he remembers what it was like playing there. So it's like this whole inequity is not several generations ago. If you're 70, 80, 90 years old, you remember a time and place in history that this was not this equal and free land.
36:21 Right. So, Thomas, thank you for bringing that up, because I think that that plays into your father's roles, you know, as well, because that generation was still, you know, coming in from things like this. And Thomas is absolutely right. He's absolutely right that that we don't because you I'm going to be honest with you. Me being in Tucson, I really search for a black doctor, you know, because I wanted them to understand who I am. And it's hard to find those, those doctors out there for us. And there are, I'm not saying that there aren't black doctors in major cities, they might be, but you may not find one.
37:03 And we don't trust, they just don't look at those factors. They don't really know about us, what, who we are and what we, you know, what our, what our issues are. So they can't really relate. So It is it is kind of it's kind of sad to say that that we don't we don't trust the medical community. And I agree with them sometimes. And then Kevin Pete chimes in. And, you know, there is this kind of assumed bias that, like I said, are, you know. our project proved out. I mean, this is all on our site.
37:40 So if anybody wanted to kind of do a deeper dive and actually watch some of the interviews with the fathers and the mothers that went through these hospital systems, and it's incredulous on what they were told in many situations. And it's not just Cleveland. It's happening all over. We just launched an app for the sickle cell foundation of Arizona. So we've been really deep into educating physicians living with sickle cell or the general community about just the, just the idea of sickle cell. If somebody comes into the emergency room and they are having a pain crisis and And that doctor isn't like, oh, should we look at, you know, asking questions if it's sickle cell related or not?
38:31 They just automatically assume something because maybe it's just not top of mind for them to consider. Then it's going to affect the quality of care. Right. So just and it was interesting when we did that implicit bias program. We did it so that it was like a VR type of experience. And so like the woman's walking up to the counter, just kind of sort of being ignored for a bit. And then there's some assumptions with the doctor when she comes in. And this issue affect the socioeconomic status of the woman was not a factor when you look at the infant mortality rate.
39:11 So that's one of the factors that kind of supports the fact that there is this toxicity. um toxicity stress syndrome that has happened because 400 years of slavery will do it to a race right um generationally so okay good so this is great the last 15 minutes let's we let's shift from kind of you know our fathers and kind of like confidence on selves to um the next generation. I mean, I feel like when we look now at the Kendricks, right? The eight-year-olds or the 12-year-olds. How old are your daughters, Octavius?
39:48 I only have one. Okay, got it. 15, got it. So the group of 12 to 18-year-olds, I just feel like the mental capabilities and the resiliency on trying to navigate a very, very different world, right, than what we grew up in. What are some of your worries or tips or thoughts for the younger generation? Glenn, I'll kind of go with you. Well, Octavius, what do you... You're with... youth all day long across the whole spectrum, how do you feel the State of the Union is? And what would you like to pass on as words of wisdom?
40:35 I would say my parenting philosophy is communication. So I definitely have tried to have a lot of transparency and my communication with the kids. I always let them, we have a discussion about whatever it is they may want or whatever it is that's going on. And then we talk about it in a solution. But what I decide may not always be what they agree with. But in the end, and I'll say more so for Caitlin, she understands why I made whatever decision that I made. So I try to, I never, even though I'm the parent, I never And the straight dictator, I always want to know her input.
41:21 I want to know what she thinks. I think that's great because when things go on, she's very open with communicating with me, whether it's things personally, things that may be going on in school. I try not to take those things for granted because I feel like she'll call me out of the blue just to tell me something. And I'll be like, she could have told me that when she got home. But I like the fact that she's very open about telling me about things that are going on in her life. And it is a very ever-changing environment.
41:50 And I think for me as a dad, I always want my child to be positive. I want her to know that she has support, whether that's good or bad or whatever we do. And I think for our kids, a lot of times they think we're being heart-strewn when it's like, hey, I've been there, I've been young. So what you're telling me is not anything that I don't already know. And some of this they have to learn For themselves, I probably overcompensate as a parent because I am the only parent, so I will admit that I do that.
42:25 But I try to make sure that I'm always making very good conscientious decisions for them. Kayla's a very good student. And I definitely wanted to make sure in the transition of becoming a single parent, she had support, whether that was therapeutic support, whatever she needed to go through her transition of how she needed to, we had to establish a new norm. So all those things, I try to be very involved as a parent. So I'm very involved in their school. I'm very involved in activities that they may have, but I don't try to push.
42:58 I don't try to push. So it's okay. What are we going to do for the summer? And I want it to be something that she wants to do, something I want to do, and put her in an environment where she decided to make good decisions. I would say that prior in elementary school, Kaylin was in a private school, and it was a predominantly her background demographics were the minority. And I think I made a decision that I would move her to a different school where she had the opportunity to know and experience a real perception of what the world is like.
43:33 I never wanted her to be sheltered. I wanted her to be in a situation where she's very aware of the world. She knows how to navigate with what the world is she's going to experience from the world, what she's going to deal with from the world, because that's going to allow her to be able to see what she wants her future to be like from a real perspective and not living in a box. And I think sometimes I see parents put their children in a box. I didn't want Kaylin to be in a box. I wanted her to be very open.
43:59 Experiences, what happens. Everybody ain't good. You're going to have some bad experiences. Everybody knows me well. I didn't want her to be a naive kid. young lady because I wanted to be an independent lady as she evolved into a young adult and how she wanted to shape her future from that. For Kendrick, a little bit different because he has ASD and we diagnosed him very young. I always tell people, even though this was my profession, my wife was an MSW, so she actually recognized the signs before I even recognized signs, even though I deal with it all the time.
44:36 I think I had all of the exceptions for what it could be. So for me, it's developing as a father, the best opportunities for support and the best supports for him to live his life independently. So it's really difficult because I try to focus on being the best support I can for Kendrick, but I don't want Kaylin to feel like Kendrick is her responsibility because he's my responsibility. So what does that look like for Kendrick as far as health, support, services, all those type of things, what he may need in school, and how can I develop him to be incredibly to his best level of independence into what adulthood and what that looks like.
45:17 So it's really hard to kind of look at how to navigate for him because I have to look at how things evolve for him. And I will say he has evolved incredibly from the pattern that I am. I'm very consistent. I'm very structured. That's just pretty much who I am. And I think that works well for my situation with the kids because they know what they expect from me. And for those that don't know what ASD is, can you go ahead and define that? Oh, yeah. ASD is autism spectrum disorder, which previously in the DSM-IV, it used to be broken down into different other components.
45:52 So you can ask for the pervasive development disorder. In the DSM-V, it's not all categorized as autism spectrum disorder. And there are various ranges on the spectrum. Kindred is not the most severe on the spectrum, but he does have communication deficits. And he struggles with some stimulation, some self-regulation, some things of that nature where he has to have structural support to assist him with that. And he's come a long way. Early intervention is always the best thing. So we did start for him at age three.
46:25 And he does... incredibly well. And I will say for a young adult, a kid, that he functions in things that I see some adults don't function with. So he's very good at identifying what he's feeling because self-regulation is a struggle for him. And he'll say, I'm feeling sad. I'm nervous. I'm tired. I'm scared. He will let you know how he feels. And I always say that's so crazy because I feel like some adults struggle with identifying with how they feel. So he pretty much is going to tell you how he feels.
46:57 And you have to know how to navigate from that and how he feels and how to make him feel comfortable. And I think a lot of that is what it has to do with. So in doing what I do for him, I do it for all of the kids as well. So I think a lot of times it's. It's a struggle with that navigational map, with communication. So I feel like with both of the kids, they understand and know me and know what my expectations are. And I'll say I was a kid that came from a very rigorous background because I was a first generation college student.
47:34 For my parents to not go to college. And there was no pressure for me to go to college. There was pressure for me to do well and make good grades. But as I got older, those were things that were already embedded in me. And honestly, it really involved the company that I kept. I went to college because my friends were going to college. And I didn't really care for college. I enjoyed the independence of college. But after a while, I was like, hey, you know, you kind of you get in your groove, you find something you like and you kind of go from there.
48:07 So I always try to make sure even for my daughter, I talk about the company that you keep. She's, you know, she's in what I call she's in socialization period. She's, you know, she's, you know, early high school, middle school, the socialization period is about being cool. It's about being accepted. It's about all of the fads. And it's really difficult to learn the different fads and the different acronyms that come along with all those different things. And I do a crisis intervention training for law enforcement officers and my curriculum is on cognitive disabilities and structural language and things of that nature.
48:47 One of the things I always tell them is you have to be very mindful that language means very different things. It's generational and it is based on a person's background. Culturally and generation, things are different things. You have to be mindful of language that you use. Things are actually interpreted. And so I have to be very conscientious of that, that my generation is very different than my my parents and their parents because they talk different language and expectations are different.
49:19 So culturally, things that were cool are not cool for me. You know, I was grown up to you. You had a haircut. You know, no earring, no any of those things. And the culture changes. And now, you know, the new culture is, you know, we do different things. Young men do different things with their hair, which that's just not something I'm used to. So even with my daughter liking guys, she said, Daddy, I know you don't like his hair. I said, yeah, I'm not used to that. So it's different. We went through the braids and all that.
49:53 We went through many, many different things, you know, I think that that's Glenn I want to kind of we've got about five minutes left and I want to kind of pass it on to you yeah what I wanted to say is that I just our kids are the same difference in age 15 and 8 and 7 years our kids are the same thing I just I feel for you brother because the day with all social media and all this stuff that they have to combat every single day. And when I deal with my athletes, they're always like, did you see this on snap?
50:32 Did you see this on, on uh on x did you see this you know yeah tick tock did you see uh everything that they have to deal with so you have an extra factor when you're dealing with kids that you can't control you know you're not controlling that and back when we're my our kids were young we didn't have snap we didn't have TikTok didn't have all that stuff they're 15 and 8 years old we just had to deal with what we were telling them and I applaud you of being able to adjust your parenting skills to the time because sometimes the old school does not work right now you got to pull a little bit of that okay because Lucy can tell you that I was the strict guy I was like my dad my dad told me He, when I graduated from high school, my dad told me, he goes, boy, you got two years.
51:29 You're going to go to junior college. You're either going to get a full ride scholarship where you're going in the Marines. That was my choices. Okay. And I didn't, I didn't have a very good senior year when I was playing, playing my sport. And I went to junior college and I got my full ride, but I had, that was my whole thing. They said, you're going, you're either going to go to college or you're going to go in the Marines. Now kids, they can do all kinds of things. There's so different things.
51:58 A lot of people are talking about not even going to college and just getting a trade, doing all those things. All those things are available. So parenting is a hodgepodge of everything that you have to put together now. I feel for the parents that are there now that what they have to deal with and how do you set your kid on a, on a great path, you know, because there's so many influences hitting them on that path. And, um, you it's, it's, it's difficult for parents to navigate that. So look at the 18, look at the 18, 20 year old.
52:39 What's what are you telling them right now? I'm telling them right now, what I'm telling them right now, you got to find out what you love. Okay. And, and I tell what I tell kids. when they go is that what kind of lifestyle do you want to live? Do you want to, if you want to be a teacher, you got to understand that if you're going to be a teacher, you're not going to be able to have a great car, the great, you know, the real big house or anything like that, because they don't make that much money as a teacher.
53:07 We don't value our teachers as we should in the United States of America. How about those people should be valued more. You got to look at what do you want to do? What kind of, Lifestyle do you want to live? What is it that you want? And I tell them that you got to go like when you're going to go to college. A lot of my kids are all going to college. All my kids that I train, they're all looking to go to college. And what kind of what are you interested in? What is going to make you your life better?
53:38 And how are you? Do you want to deal with, you know, be in the social services department? Is that what you want? But you got to deal with what what kind of lifestyle you're going to have. So I give them that advice and then they make that decision and they have to be able to be happy with themselves. Are you happy with what you're doing? And that's how I think that our kids will be able to strive in their life after. And I've had kids over the last 20 years. They've all said they come back to me.
54:10 I've got kids from 15, 20 years ago. I said, man, that talk that you told me about what I wanted to do is was totally true. Because I'm happy in my life. I'm married. I have kids. I'm doing good in my life. And that's what I love to hear when I hear when I talk to the kids that they're making decisions, making a critical thinking. They got to be able to critically think. I typically tell my students in their college success class, you have to look at what you want to do that has equal internal and external factors.
54:42 A lot of times we chase money, but then we hate our job or we love our job, but it doesn't give us the financial freedom. Now, I will say you can be a teacher and still drive whatever kind of car you want to drive. You know how to manage your money. So it doesn't matter how much money you make, because I see people that make small amounts of money, and they do great things with it because they know how to manage their money. And I see people that make a lot of money, and they're in all kind of debt and foreclosure and bankruptcy because they don't know how to manage their money.
55:08 So money management is the key, not necessarily your profession. But you have to have even external factors. It gives you what you want, and you like to do it. And financially, you're able to accomplish the things that you want to accomplish. And a lot of times, people are in the opposite ends. They want to be a doctor because they love the money, but they hate getting up, going to their job and money. But they like their paycheck and are saving the world out here. But your paycheck is not allowing you to pay your rent.
55:36 So you got to know how to be able to balance with that, with what you want to do. And it got to be something that you have a passion for as well. And how to be looking for a career. A lot of times young people now will look for a job. I tell you, when you get to a certain age, what's your career? What is something that you want to align with something that you want to do, not just a job? Sacrifices. I always tell them that there's nothing good comes without sacrifice. You're going to have to sacrifice Like maybe like you like you're saying, I tell you, this is that you're going to have to not buy all those stuff.
56:10 You have to save your money. You have to be a man, a money manager. You're going to have to do those kinds of things because sacrifices is is success has nothing to do. I mean, you can't have success without having sacrifices. And that's what you have to understand. Are you willing to do that? I knew for a fact that this conversation would take up very quickly the full hour. Josh, we haven't even heard from him since like 8, 10, because we've just been engulfed in this great conversation. And again, why we're just putting this up as a weekly deal, a weekly interactive chat.
56:49 In closing, let's just bring one comment on here. Thomas, I agree. Respect should be given to kids that build trust. The dictator role doesn't work with this generation. They're very savvy. Communication, transparency, and trust will go a long way with them. Don't sugarcoat things because they have so much access to information. It's absolutely right. I think the access to information is really kind of almost, I don't want to say it's a downfall, but holy cow. I mean, it is really, to me, the foundation of all these mental health issues that we've got going on.
57:21 But we are at the top of the hour. So let me just kind of remind everybody that Advance the Dream is a co-developed project in partnership with my partner here, Josh Williams, and his You Do Matter Foundation, designed to build new and sustainable revenue sources for nonprofits looking to impact population health issues. So it's free to join the... It's free to join... The Force for Health, you could go and look for the, I've got the slide coming up here somewhere, maybe. Yes, there's a little... Of course, it was Juneteenth.
58:03 Let me just say, also being June, let's just go challenge everybody that they know the general story of why it is so important to recognize the history of Juneteenth and what that represents. symbolizes out there. And again, we're kicking off some virtual health challenges here. It's a very mixed and multi-generational approach to fit family force health. And again, Josh has been leading that. I love that he's got almost 40, 50 members of his family and cousins and therefore right into your group.
58:41 So the force for health.com advanced the dream.com. They all kind of point to our site. Download, connect with us, and then if you'd like, upgrade and play with us in the Reality Health Games this summer. So, Josh, final closing words. Lucy, let me first thank Glenn for joining us this morning as well with his information. I knew that, you know, when I first moved back to Gadsden, one of the first people that I actually ran into was actually Octavius. who happens to be the president of probably the greatest fraternity in the world, without doubt.
59:22 So he don't want the grades that come with the overall job. You take the chapter. But he did an excellent job with welcoming me back home. to the city. And just talking with him, I thought that his story was something that was definitely shareable with our viewers as he continues to raise and do the best for his kids that he has to now shelter all of the responsibilities of parenthood uh, on his shoulders. So we're very proud of that. I'm proud of the actual, uh, Thomas and Kevin. Uh, thank you for your comments as well.
1:00:09 Um, members of the fraternity that are of course, uh, supporting Octavius and myself, uh, by coming in to join and offer any comments, positive comments that were accepted. We appreciate that. Uh, I also wanted to actually, um, We had another individual that was going to come on with us, Ray Humphrey. But he had an emergency and he had to actually leave home. So he wasn't able to get on the show. But Ray was bringing his son, which is a generation below Ray. all of us guys um he's bringing him to the table as well to talk about some of the things that they are doing uh together as father and son so but uh I think we got across what we wanted to get across with this session uh very pleased thank you guys I knew for a fact I went ahead on and muted my microphone because I knew you all gonna talk So I didn't want to take any of that away.
1:01:09 And like Lucy stated, when the conversation gets going and it gets going good, the best thing to do is stay out of the way and let the conversation roll. So very pleased. Thank you, guys, for your time, your attention and your information that you had the opportunity to share with us. We appreciate it to the fullest. We look forward to continuing this weekly series of making sure that we acknowledge and support those individuals that are not necessarily being reported. Acknowledging a legacy in your community is someone who you wouldn't find in a library.
1:01:51 But it's a person that we should acknowledge. So we're gonna do a better job and I'm gonna ask Octavius and the brothers here in Gadsden County to step up with me as we begin to highlight some of those legacies around our communities as it relates to acknowledging some of the people who built the foundation. Gadsden, of course, is one of the highest, it is the largest African-American populated county in the state of Florida. So we want to make sure that there's got to be some history there. I might suggest that we do a specific spotlight on Gadsden County within the next couple of weeks, because the way that you've been able to bring in all of the leaders from Gadsden, you know, as part of the You Do Matter and this mentor challenge, you know, 15, I think you've got 15 badges with the school superintendents showing up, the sheriff department showing up.
1:02:50 The YMCA, you've got doctors. I mean, so you've been able to prove what we've been trying to challenge boots on the ground leader. Don't, don't minimize your, Hey, it's just the chapter present. It takes local leadership, right. To get boots on ground going on here. So I think all of you, I look at Kendrick Octavius, does Kendrick have any type of last minute word message? Would you like to share a quick thought before we go Kendrick? If not, no worries. Okay. Okay. Well, listen, it's, it's been awesome to have you guys.
1:03:31 Thank you so much for joining again. I echo Josh Thomas and, and those others. It was Thomas and Kevin. Thanks for participating in the interactive chat sessions and we will be signing out. So have a great week, everybody. Glenn, thanks for joining. Excited to launch my healthy athlete with you. And one quick thing I had to say to the visit. There goes a man of high impulse, oppressively mean in grace. There goes a man of humble faith, a credit to his race. And I'll save the rest for next week.
1:04:13 But now you teased us. What is that from? What's that from? Octavius, that's a poem that we got. There goes an alpha man. Okay. Got it. And you're going to have some competition. I was going to say, I think that was an alpha thing. You're going to have some competition as we build this round table. You know, we've got some incredible leadership. I know from Tucson, we'll be very busy with bringing really the kind of divine nine leadership at the local level together so that we can start competing up and having some fun here.
1:04:48 So thanks everybody. Have a wonderful weekend and we will see you next week. Thank you guys. We appreciate it. We appreciate it. All right.
Transcript is auto-generated from the broadcast captions and lightly cleaned; timestamps jump to the moment on YouTube.
Advance the Dream · Episode Recap ·